SHORT PEOPLE
by Rebel8954
Summary: Throwing open the door, he yelled, "Look, if I want to eat some chocolate, then I'll eat some chocolate!" He slammed the door shut behind him. Blair spun around to stare at him. "What! WHAT! What in the hell are you talking about? Who jabbed YOU in the ass!" Jim blinked and quickly switched gears. "Nothing. Nobody." M/M Scenario


Jim Ellison had seen more than his share of combat during his time with the Army. As an Army Ranger who was liaison with the CIA and participated in Black Ops missions, he'd developed a highly tuned sense of survival.

As Sentinel of the Great City, this sense of survival had sharpened even more...especially where it concerned his best friend, partner, Guide, and lover, Blair Sandburg.

As Jim got out of his truck, he glanced upwards to their third story balcony with an expression usually worn by a soldier about to attack an enemy camp. Seeing Blair's car in its usual parking spot, Jim cautiously extended his hearing.

"Idiot! **STUPID** idiot! Does he actually think I'm going to believe **THAT!?** "

Jim hurriedly turned down the dial on his hearing. Leaning against the side of the truck, he frowned and tried to think of anything he'd done that would have pissed off his best friend, partner, Guide, and lover **THAT** much.

Their friendship was rock solid.

Nothing wrong at work...except for the usual psycho criminals who crossed their path.

All senses working very well.

Life at home was **VERY** good...unless Sandburg had found his stash of Godiva chocolates. In which case, what was Sandburg doing snooping in his old army footlocker?

 **RING!**

Startled, Jim reached into his jacket pocket for his cell phone. He briefly wondered if he should hope it was Simon recalling him to work. "Ellison."

"What are you doing down there?"

"Hey, Blair." Jim automatically softened his voice.

"Well?"

"For some reason, I thought I'd forgotten to bring something home and was trying to remember what it could be." Guiltily, Jim shuffled his feet.

"It can't be that important. Get up here."

Click.

Grumpily, Jim closed the cell phone and put it in his pocket. "A man's entitled to have chocolate if he wants. It's not like I eat it all at one time. Trust me, Sandburg, I've learned my lesson from Halloween two years ago. I **DO** have some self-control, you know."

Jim continued his mutterings all the way to his front door. By then, he'd worked himself into a mood of self-righteous indignation. Throwing open the door, he yelled, "Look, if I want to eat some chocolate, then I'll eat some chocolate!" He slammed the door shut behind him.

Blair spun around to stare at him. "What?! **WHAT?!** What in the hell are you talking about? Who jabbed **YOU** in the ass?!"

Jim blinked and quickly switched gears. "Nothing. Nobody." He shrugged out of his jacket and hung it on the wall next to the door. "What's wrong with you?"

"Do you have any idea what they said? What they're insinuating?" Blair was distracted enough to actually pull at his hair. His eyes were furious and Jim could swear he actually saw angry flames dancing in the blue color of Blair's eyes.

Slowly, Jim walked to his partner. "No, I guess I haven't heard. Who said what?"

"Who said what?!" Blair took a deep breath. "I cannot be calm about this, man. There are some things that defy calmness."

Jim slowly relaxed as it struck him that Blair's anger wasn't a result of something **HE'D** done. Cautiously, he reached out and rubbed Blair's arms.

"Don't try to pacify me!" Blair yelled as he jumped backwards.

"I'm not!" Jim lied. "I was trying to...comfort you."

Blair's eyes narrowed. "Don't patronize me," he warned in a low tone of voice.

Jim rubbed his face with both hands. "Okay. I know this scenario. I played it out enough with Carolyn."

 **"Carolyn!"** Blair angrily shrieked.

"Yeah!" Jim bitterly answered. "It's where nothing I do or say is right so whatever's wrong around here will eventually be my fault because even if I didn't do it or say it, I'm just going to make it worse so I'm going to shut up and take a shower which will **ALSO** be the wrong thing to do but at I'll have a break before round 2!"

Blair frowned. "That's how Carolyn argued with you? Man...that's...well, it's kinda sadistic."

Jim took a deep breath. "Just...just tell me what's wrong? Then I'll do what I can to fix it."

Blair walked towards him, stopping only when he was close enough to touch Jim. "Hey, it's not up to you to make everything 'right'. I know you can't do that. You do **NOT** have to twist yourself into knots, okay?"

"So whatever has you up in arms really isn't about something I did? Or didn't do?"

"No, of course not. Where did you get **THAT** idea?"

"Maybe the order you snapped out for me to get up here?" Jim asked with a slight smile.

"Oh." Embarrassed, Blair studied his toes. "Sorry about that. I really am."

"It's okay. Let's start over" Jim put a finger under Blair's chin and gently raised his head. Leaning forward, he gently kissed the other man on the lips. "What's wrong? What has you so upset?"

"That...that fucking radio commercial!"

Jim paused. "A radio commercial?" When Blair nodded, Jim nodded. "Some right-wing ultra-conservative political ad?"

"Worse. It was an ad promoting this 'natural remedy' to help kids grow." Blair looked up with indignation in his eyes and voice. "They insinuated there was something wrong with being **SHORT!** "

Jim frowned. "What was it? Some sort of hormones or steroids?"

"Oh, nothing like that. They specifically said these were natural herbs. Stuff that's not regulated by the FDA." Blair began pacing and waving his arms. "But the worst was they they were insinuating there's something wrong if you're short! Can you imagine how that makes a kid feel? That you're some sort of sub-human freak!? Do you have any idea how that affects a kid's sense of self-worth?"

"Sorta. From the other side of the spectrum."

Blair turned and faced his friend. "Is that a fact?"

"Yep. Try being ten years old and taller than anybody else." Jim shrugged. "I mean head and shoulders taller than kids older than you." He sat on the couch and stretched out his legs. "Mom had just left and Pops had both Stevie and me in a private school. Sally hadn't come to work full time at the house yet, and this private school had a lot of after-school activities."

Blair folded his arms across his chest and listened.

"Anyway, at the end of the school year, each class put on a performance. Some short play or sang songs." Jim sighed. "My class teacher decided we would different types of dances. I thought I was lucky when I wasn't chosen for the ballroom dance group."

Blair tried not to snicker and covered his mouth with his hand.

"Of course, all the kids wanted to dance to **OUR** type of music." He glared at Blair. "Unfortunately, I got picked for square dancing. I'd managed to irritate my teacher just enough for **THAT**."

"Square dancing's not bad, Jim," Blair protested. "It takes agility, timing..."

"My teacher thought it would be funny if the tallest kid danced with the shortest kid," Jim interrupted. "Sort of a Mutt and Jeff shtick. It would be even funnier since we were both boys. **AND** it would be even **FUNNIER** if the tallest boy dressed like a girl."

"Ouch."

"The teacher didn't tell us until two days before we were to perform," Jim continued. "Pops was out of town, and Sally was staying with us then. I tried to tell Pops I didn't want to do it when he came back, but he didn't listen."

"You went through with it?"

Jim nodded, then slowly smiled. "Pops blew a gasket. After the performance, he ripped my teacher **AND** the principal a new one. How dare they embarrass his son? The next year Sallie was with us full-time and both Stevie and I were in another school."

Blair sighed and sat on the couch next to Jim. "Man, why can't people just let other people be who they are? You didn't ask to be so tall when you were ten, and I never asked to be short." He glared over his shoulder at the stereo. "And then people start this nonsense that if you're not tall then there's something wrong and you need to take pills and stuff."

Jim patted Blair's knee. "Standard advertising, pal. How many commercials are there on television telling people they'll be happier if they dye their hair?"

Blair glanced at Jim, then leaned his head on the older man's shoulder. "Or get hair implants?"

"Smart ass." Jim lightly smacked Blair's thigh. "So the ranting and raving was over the commercial?"

"Yeah. I'm going to protest, though," Blair promised. "As soon as I calm down, I'm going to write out a petition to get that commercial taken off the airwaves."

Jim nodded. "I'll sign it and take a copy to work. I'm sure there are a lot of people who will sign it, too."

Blair smiled. "Thanks."

"My pleasure." Jim quickly kissed Blair's lips. "Now I'm going to take that shower." He started to get up only to have Blair pull him back down to the couch. He grinned. "Is this a signal to cuddle a little longer?"

Blair comfortably snuggled closer to his partner. "Actually, I thought we'd talk about...chocolate." 


End file.
